Every year, Mother’s Day is one of the most commercialised dates, shaped by what we buy, give and share. But while the day is presented as a celebration of motherhood, not every experience of it fits that image.
In the UK, Mother’s Day generates more than £1.6 billion in spending each year. Behind that, are experiences that are rarely seen.
Each year, around 2,500 babies are stillborn in the UK, according to data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), leaving families grieving a child they never had the chance to raise. There are also more than 80,000 children in foster care across England, based on figures from the Department for Education, many growing up without their birth parents, including their mothers.
Domestic abuse remains another invisible reality. On average, two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales, according to data from the Femicide Census and ONS. Many of them are mothers. These figures highlight how, for some, motherhood is affected by loss, violence or separation rather than celebration.
For some students at Kingston University, Mother’s Day is not only about loss through death, but about something less visible, it’s the emotional absence.
Marianne, a Kingston student, said her mother is still alive but has never been emotionally present in her life. She described growing up without that support and said the impact continues to affect her life. “You still feel the loss,” she said. “It’s just different.”
While others celebrate, she said, the day can feel uncomfortable, especially when trying to build a relationship that has never fully existed. Not all families are close, and not all absence is physical.
Across Kingston University, some students are mothers themselves, balancing childcare with their studies. Others take on caring roles within their families. Many are managing responsibilities that go beyond university work.
One student explained that although she is not a mother, she has taken on a caring role for her younger siblings. “ I am the oldest of five siblings, my mum got dementia, she is still here physically but, she doesn’t even know me anymore, I am now their mother figure,” Hayley said.
“It’s not always your mum, sometimes it’s just the person who shows up.” Friends, relatives or mentors who offer support when it is needed most.
Mother’s Day remains an important moment of appreciation. It is also a time of reflection on loss, distance, or relationships that were never what they expected, or to honour a mother figure who helps them keep going.
For those who are blessed and able to celebrate with their mum, or who are mothers themselves, the day becomes something that feels meaningful and personal, Mother’s Day is priceless and irreplaceable.